How to Kiss a Woman

By Affection

• Introduction - How I learned this information
• First Kiss Expectations - Setting the stage for the first kiss
  • Non-Physical Communications - Escalating through words indirectly
  • Kino Escalation - Escalating through touch
  • Mystery Kiss Close - Escalating through words directly
  • Fool's Mate / Drunk Girl / Dance Floor Close - Recognizing when no escalation necessary
• Kissing to Attract - How to use kissing to bring you towards sex
  • First Kiss - Techniques for perfect first kiss
  • Phase Shift Kiss - Moving from comfort to seduction
  • LMR Reducing Kisses - Distracting built-in resistance through kissing and touch
• Conclusion - Context and scope

• Kissing is important, and if you screw it up, you've lost the girl.
• It is effective at building attraction and comfort, in addition to closing the seduction phase.
• If you master it, your LMR will go down, and your women will be more likely to see you again.

• Non-Physical Communications
  
  Consider the evolution phase shift, where you're telling the girl a story about physical escalation and how important things like smell and close contact are. You are setting her mind on the topic of getting physical and bringing to her conscious mind the emotions she associates with that, so that when you're touching her, it feels congruent with her current state. Consider also triangular gazing, where you are essentially non-verbally, non-physically communicating to the girl that you are about to kiss her. It's practically sign language.
  
   
• Kino Escalation
  
  Sequence: Push her shoulder. Touch her hand. Throw her hand away. Touch her hand again. Move my fingertips over her hand. Touch her elbow, and leave my hand there for a little bit longer. Poke her in the side. Take her hair and put it over her upper lip like a Hitler mustache (and tell her she looks sexy! ). Push her hair back behind her ear, gently with only your fingertips (no nails). Hands on her knee, just a little bit above where they need to be. Initiate reverse kino (put her hands on you). Soul gazing routine (modified to have your hands at the bottom of her ribs and hers at yours, "to make sure you're breathing at the same time"). Bite ear. Kiss.
  
  This might be a typical kino scenario for me to have with a girl. It isn't memorized or sequenced the same way every time. It's just one flow. ...but it's a slow, natural progression. If I'm poking a girl and holding her hands, it's not a big deal for me to push her hair behind her ear. If I were to push her hair behind her ear as an opener, most girls would feel a bit creeped out. By definition, "escalation" is a linear, sequential upwards movement. Make sure it's at the appropriate pace (too fast = creepy, too slow = boring).
  
   
• Mystery Kiss Close
  
  A lot of newer guys like the Mystery kiss close because it has an easy, non-embarrassing way out if she says no. I like the Mystery kiss close because it allows you to kiss a girl earlier than she otherwise might let you. The reason is that you are instantly setting the expectation that she's about to be kissed. She could be thinking about whether her panties match her socks, but this technique instantly moves her mind onto the desired topic. Chances are, no guy has ever said something like this to her, and she's intrigued. If you've received the 3 requisite IOIs before running the routine, she will almost always allow you to kiss her. Without this routine or similar, most girls will *not* allow you to kiss them in only 3 IOIs -- you have not yet built the expectation, and she will take a step back.
  
   
• Fool's Mate / Drunk Girl / Dance Floor Close
  
  Girls that are out looking for sex ("fool's mate") already expect to be kissed. No expectation building necessary. Drunk girls don't get surprised like sober girls (and besides, alcohol makes women horny), so no expectation building necessary there either. You may* kiss them without further work (*Affection does not suggest taking advantage of drunk women ). Dance floor kissing is similar, because you're building the expectation with your sexual dancing that's happening anyway. If a girl is grinding back into you for more than 5 minutes, bite her ear, kiss her neck, pull her hair, and kiss her. No further expectation building necessary.

• First Kiss
  
  As former AFCs, many of us are used to a first kiss being the start of a long makeout session. This is because we waited hours and hours before we worked up the balls to go for the first kiss, and by that time we were probably not standing in the middle of a bar or the local Barnes & Noble. As PUAs with an "I am the fucking man" attitude, if we want to kiss a girl, we don't have to wait. Your first kiss should be *in the first hour* of an interaction. If you're waiting longer than that for the first kiss, you're hurting your game.
  
  Some girls suck at kissing (about 25% in my experience) and the second you put your lips near them their tongue is down your throat, but most girls allow you to control the pace of the kissing. The first kiss should be a short, light kiss. We're not going for a makeout session -- yet. Your goal in the first kiss is not to arouse either of you or to lead immediately to sex (discounting obvious "fool's mate" situations). This is a "comfort building" kiss... think of it more like kino than anything else. "Short and light" means that your lips should be barely touching hers, and your tongue touching her lips and maybe the very tip of her tongue, but not any farther than that. Essentially, you are teasing her and making her want more. Subsequent kisses in the same location (bar, club, bookstore) should be of the same intensity. Continue the tease until your intention is to put her in a sexually charged state, and you don't want to do that too soon, because if the sexually charged state drops before you have sex with her, you drastically increase your chances of losing the girl.
  
  By the way, for me, this is one of the hardest parts of the game. Having an attractive woman want you to kiss her more and holding out on her is no easy task. The reward for accomplishing this is demonstrating to the girl that you are in control of yourself and the situation, are not sexually needy, and are probably the alpha male type of guy she is looking for.
  
   
• Phase Shift Kiss
  
  When you've moved her to the seduction location (the place where you will have sex with her) or are confident you can keep up her sexually charged state until you get there, you can start "real" kissing. Besides the lips, concentrate on the neck, ears, and collar bone. For most girls, one or more of those places is an instant "on" button -- find out which one and press it. It's still a good idea to keep things "light," but not "short" anymore. If only the very tip of your tongue touches any part of her body, you're doing it right.
  
  It's very important at this time what you're doing with her hands. Some suggestions:
  
   
  • Hair pulling. To do it right, put your entire hand on her neck, push your hand back and up into her hair, and make a fist. You want to grab the hair at the base of the back of her head.
    
     
  • Pulling her into you, like a hug. This can be done from her shoulders, from her waist, or from her thigh, or any combination of these (you have two hands, so you can pull her into you at two different locations).
    
     
  • Touching her entire body without touching any of the "good parts." What I mean by this is slowly moving your hand from her thigh to her armpit, but without grabbing her ass, putting your hands between her legs, or squeezing her chest. When you get to a "good part" move your hands to the side of her body rather than touching the goods.
    
     
  • Touching her with your fingertips only, especially on her hands, forearm, neck, and her chest above her breasts.
  
   
• LMR Reducing Kisses
  
  "Last Minute Resistance" plagues many people coming into the community. There are several techniques out there already for dealing with LMR once you've triggered it, but I want to suggest that it would be nice to try and avoid triggering it. One of the best ways to avoid LMR is to progress at a slow, steady, sequential pace. If you build enough comfort, she'll probably comply. If you go from 5 minutes of kissing her neck straight to fingering her ass, she'll probably resist.
  
  In general, there are 3 times you're likely to get resistance: taking off her top, taking off her bottom, and right before the actual sex. Any time you're performing one of these actions, your goal should be to make it as small of a step as possible. Consider:
  
  a) Kiss -> Take Off Her Shirt
  
  b) Kiss -> Touching Her Chest Over Shirt -> Touching Her Chest Under Shirt -> Take Off Her Shirt
  
  Because you took smaller steps each time with option B, you're more likely to achieve compliance.
  
  Touching over and then under an article of clothing is a good start to taking smaller steps, but patterns of kissing will make the steps even smaller. If I think a girl is going to resist removing her shirt, I'll start to kiss her collar bone and work down to kissing the exposed portion of her chest. I'll pull the shirt down slightly to expose more and continue. I'll then move down to her stomach and kiss her stomach, slowly moving her shirt up to expose more area. Then back up to the top, pulling the top down more. At this point, her shirt isn't really covering her much anyway, so she'll likely comply.
  
  You can apply the same principle to removing her pants and panties. For the pants and panties, I also suggest "distracting kisses." If she's busy thinking about how good the kissing on her neck feels, she might be less likely to notice or care about the fact that I just unbuttoned her pants. You have your lips, two hands, and your legs (which you can use to rub against her) -- use them to create as many simultaneous sensations as possible.
  
  The last point of resistance is the actual sex. If you've successfully gotten this far, simply make sure her state does not drop. Continue kissing her constantly and creating simultaneous sensations as described above. If you're of the variety that uses condoms (and PM suggests being of that variety ), have one easily at hand and learn how to open and put it on with one hand, leaving your other hand free to preserve her sexually excited state.

 A good person who has this stuff figured out is David DeAngelo at http://www.learnpickup.com.