General
1. Do I really need a
site/book/audio-course to get a girl?
2. Don’t only losers with women read about pickup on the internet and buy books
on the subject?
3. Can’t I get a girl by just being myself?
4. Will learning pick-up help me in other areas?
5. I don’t want to lay 1000 girls, all I want is to have a girlfriend!
6. What if other people find out I am learning how to pick-up girls?
7. There are so many different products! How can I decide which one is right for
me?
8. Can I email you a question on pick-up? Do you provide phone coaching?
9. There’s this girl at work/school/church I like… How do I get her?
10. Am I better off buying a product or going to a seminar/bootcamp?
1. Do I really need a site/book/audio-course to
get a girl?
Maybe, maybe not. The real question is are you satisfied with what you have been
getting out of dating? Out of life? If you’re content with your current results,
look no further. But if you want to do better and are willing to put in the
work, there are resources available. That’s what we’re here for.
2. Don’t only losers with women read about pick-up on the internet and buy
books on the subject?
To put it in perspective, my friend Lovedrop got laid consistently in high
school and since then has read dozens of books and taken several bootcamps on
meeting girls. Now he’s a master instructor for the highest rated pickup seminar
in the country. He’s now written a good part of the
definitive book on the subject. I have another friend who has refused to
look at any site or product on picking up women, and he’s now at age 25 and
hasn’t kissed a girl. If you go to a wealth building seminar, even a free one,
you’ll notice that most of the people there are pretty successful already. The
people who refuse help the most are the ones that need it the most. Don’t be
that guy. No one will think better of you for sacrificing the beautiful women
that await you so you can be “cool.”
3. Can’t I get a girl by just being myself?
“You is a fluid concept”— Hitch
If you mean be yourself by showing your real personality traits, talents, and
wonderful features, then YES you can be yourself and attract the woman of your
dream. But are you really doing that?
When you talk to a girl, does she realize how compassionate, intelligent, and
humorous you are? Does she laugh at your jokes like your friends do? Does she
listen intently to your stories about yourself and bask at how interesting your
life is?
If the answer to any of those question is no, then you are NOT being yourself.
You’re being a distorted version of yourself that only comes out when you’re
trying to impress someone, a needy, unconfident, nervous wreck. Walk up to the
hottest girl in a bar in front of all her friends and tell her how you feel
about her. The trembling mumbling mess in that situation is NOT you.
These resources available show you how to be your best self in all
circumstances. Once you can comfortably walk up to women, start conversations
and attract them, you are officially yourself.
4. Will learning pick-up help me in other areas?
YES, YES and YES.
Almost everyone I know who has learned pick-up has applied it to other areas of
their life. Examples include:
· Using AMOG techniques on unpleasant people that try to make fun of them or
take advantage of them
· Using NLP tactics to get better sales, do fantastically at job interviews, and
influence business associates
· Better confidence in all areas of life
· Finding friends who support them better than the old non-supportive ones they
had
· Inspired them to improve themselves in other areas such as health, fitness,
money-making, etc.
What you are learning is better social skills. Read Emotional Intelligence by
Daniel Goleman. Learning how to deal with other people is the most important and
valued skill anyone can have on this earth. Social mastery is life mastery.
5. I don’t want to lay 1000 girls, all I want is to have a girlfriend!
People learn pick-up for different reasons. Some want to date strippers, some
want to boost their total count of lays into the stratosphere, and some just
want to have the perfect wife when they settle down. A man named Tyler Durden
came to the game for that reason. He wanted to have a big family with a lot of
kids, and a wonderful wife. What he did realize is that in order to attract the
woman of his dreams, he’d have to be able to attract everyone else as well. The
idea that you can be tongue-tied with every attractive woman you talk to, and
then meet a beautiful benevolent bombshell, and be Casanova for her, is just a
daydream. I’ve dated a lot of women in my day, and every once in a while I meet
one that’s so perfect, I know she’s a potential soulmate, wife material. It’s at
those moments I realize all the women before her were placeholders until I meet
“The One.” The fact is, without developing the skill from dating these
placeholders, you would never be ready for “The One.”
Beyond that, simply, girls what guys who can get other girls! This is not to say
they all want players, though many of them do. What girls really want is a guy
that CHOOSES her out of many, because she’s special out of the flock he could
have. This is why the qualification phase of pick-up is so important. The last
thing your girlfriend wants to think is she was the only one you could get. Keep
in mind one thing, while you can flirt with, kiss, date, and fool around with as
many girls as you want before you meet your girlfriend, you are by no means
required to sleep with all of them! Some guys actually choose to keep their
total score low, and only sleep with steady girlfriends. That’s fine. You never
have to step outside your values in this game.
6. What if other people find out I am learning how to pick-up girls?
It will be a dark day when your friends and family find you are heterosexual…
Seriously though, there are only very rare instances where this has been a
problem for people. There have been the rare occasions of an ex-girlfriend
hacking into someone’s email account, but these are few and far between. Most
people find that when they let their friends know they’re studying pick-up, the
friends admire them for their balls to go for it, and often want to get in on it
themselves. You, of course, do not have to tell a single soul that you are
improving your abilities to attract the opposite sex. Once the women start
coming to you, people may ask what happened to you, and you can either tell
them, or just smile and say “I’m just cool like that.”
Every credible resource listed on this site ships their materials in discreet
boxes so your mailman won’t know that you ordered anything. And if you want to
be safe, just don’t check this site at work. That’s all that’s needed.
7. There are so many different products! How can I decide which one is right
for me?
Slow down buddy!
The last thing we want is for you to buy everything at once. It may be hard to
believe, but there are hundreds of pickup products out there. We have narrowed
it down for you by only mentioning the ones with the highest rated reviews, and
which have been produced by pick-up artists who have been witnessed displaying
their talents to attract unusually high caliber women.
That being said, there is still several to choose from. Because of this, we
recommend you take note of when a source is credited in an article or FAQ
question. If you like what he says, his product may be for you. The best
starting product for anyone new to the game would probably be
Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo.
It’s cheap, and more people have gotten their first successes through him than
any other man. From then on, I would say
Mystery Method’s
Venusian Arts Handbook is the number one tactical manual for the cold
approach. Very detailed. Once you have mastered approaching and the initial
stages of attracting women, the next highly ranked system
However, a more economical second step may be
Swinggcat’s book.
It’s full of techniques, and attitudes that focus on making you the prize women
go for, and finished what David DeAngelo started in terms of when and how to
ball-bust women. It also has some great cold-reading techniques for rapport,
surprisingly, since most books that focus on teasing women neglect the
warm-fuzzy rapport aspect.
8. Can I email you a question on pick-up? Do you provide phone coaching?
As much as we’d love to answer every question you have, we simply don’t have
enough manpower to do it at this point. This is why we’ve created the PUM Forum,
where you can post any question you have and get the feedback of other PUA’s. We
do answer questions in the forum regularly, and we will add new questions and
answers to this FAQ periodically. As for phone coaching, on occasion we do
provide that, but only in special circumstances, and it’s very expensive. There
are so many resources at your disposal that it would be far more economical for
you to take advantage of them first, and post questions on the Forum as they
come up. However, suggestions for this site are always welcome, and success
stories are encouraged.
9. There’s this girl at work/school/church I like… How do I get her?
In a quick sentence: Have the proper subcommunications that convey higher value
to her.
Now that will sound like Greek to most of you, so here is a more elaborate
explanation. The way you stand, your rate of breath, the annunciation in your
voice, the clothes you wear, and the way you part your hair, all give subtle
clues to women of what value you are to them, and if you’re worth dating. There
are other things like social proof, which are important. How other people treat
you are as, if not more, important as how you carry yourself.
Now how do you fix all of that by next week? You can’t. It takes practice,
education, and experience. There’s no magic pill for all of that. What you just
have to do is talk to as many girls as possible, cold approaching especially,
and tighten your skill-set a little each time. Once you’ve gotten good at
attracting and maintaining relationships with other girls, the ones you know
will start to notice you’re different and will become interested. The girls in
your social circle are the last piece of the puzzle, not the first. You have to
work from the outside in. That being said, if you like a girl from Church, go
ahead and ask her out. As far as work and school are concerned, I would shy away
from pursuing women you see very often anyway. If things go wrong, it can get
very awkward. I generally only date women that I know I will rarely if ever see
again if things go bad.
Also, if there’s a crucial point you can take away from this entire FAQ, it is
this: Do not focus on one woman at a time. Do not pursue one woman at a time. Do
not date one woman at a time UNTIL YOU HAVE A COMMITMENT ON HER PART. Focusing
on one girl is what we call “one-it is.” It will mess up your game and make you
a nervous, depressed wreck. Do not place all your eggs in one basket. And keep
in mind if you’re dating only one girl, she’s probably seeing several other guys
at the same time anyway. The more girls you are pursuing, the less critical she
is to you, and the more power you have in the relationship.
10. Am I better off buying a product or going to a seminar/bootcamp?
There are definitely benefits to both.
Unless I have seen a lot of postings by the pick-up trainer, I would probably
order his product first so I know what I’m getting into. Seminars and bootcamps
can be quite expensive, especially if travel and lodging is needed. Also, with
audio programs and e-books, you can review the information again and again,
while at a seminar you may take notes, but science has proven most of what you
hear you will not remember.
There’s no substitute for field experience, and the more field experience you
have, the more you will get out of the program.
I would be vary wary of a seminar by someone who doesn’t have a presence in the
community. Everyone mentioned on this site is a big name person.
The original pick-up trainer was Mystery. He still has a phenomenal program with
first class instructors. That being said, you would get tons more out of the
program if you read the Mystery Method E-book first.
The one exception to the “waiting” rule on seminars is any Real Social Dynamics
program featuring Tyler Durden. The rest of their instructors are good, but
anything with Tyler speaking is a must-attend. He is a social dynamics genius
and will revamp everything you think about the game and your whole social life.
After going to his seminar, I could just give a glance at at the eys of drivers
cutting me off on the turnpike, and they’d back off.
Next:
Questions on Approaching Women
Back to Main FAQ
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