The Approach

1. Where do I go to meet women?
2. I hate bars/clubs!
3. I’m too scared to approach girls, how do I get over it?
4. She’s by herself, what do I say?
5. She’s in a group, what do I say?
6. They gave their opinion, now what?
7. I don’t want to use pre-scripted routines! I just want to go with the flow!
8. There are guys in the set! How do I approach if there are guys in there too?
9. How do I make the girls attracted?
10. Ok, we’re talking, the girls are laughing, now what?
11. So how do I know if she likes me?
12. She’s touching me, should I touch her back?
13. She said she has a boyfriend, what do I do?

1. Where do I go to meet women?

What you really want to do at this point is improve your skillset, rather than find your dream woman. Therefore the best place to meet women is where there are lots of them. Bars, clubs, street fairs, crowded malls, etc. Here’s the litmus test: “Within an hour can I talk to 10 attractive girls if I want to?”

2. I hate bars/clubs!

You know, you’re not alone in this. In his early days, before he had even kissed a girl, at age 21, a man named Mystery hated bars and clubs. They were too loud for him. But he knew there would be lots of women there so he kept going. Now he’s perfectly comfortable there and owns every place he goes to. Maybe it’s not the bar you don't’ like. Maybe it’s loud obnoxious drunks, and loud music. There are plenty of bars/clubs to choose from where you can talk in your normal voice and still be heard, and lounges where the surfer drunks don’t generally hang out. But you don’t even have to go to bars or clubs. Just go to places where you can consistently find women to approach.

3. I’m too scared to approach girls, how do I get over it?

The age old question that has piqued many a PUA’s curiosity. We have an excellent article up on dealing with confidence and approach anxiety.

4. She’s by herself, what do I say?

She won’t be for long! Once in a blue moon, you’ll meet a woman at a bar who came there by herself. That’s pretty much a done deal if you have been going out regularly for long enough.

Usually, however, she’s waiting for her friend/friends/boyfriend. When she’s by herself, it’s best to go direct.

Shark would say something like “I like you, and would like to get to know you.”

Mystery has an excellent opener for this occasion which I use regularly:
You: “Hi!” (big smile)
Her: “Hi...”
You: “So… Who the hell are you?” (Sound REALLY friendly, almost gay like, if you don’t do this joyously enough you’ll sound like an asshole).
Her: “Umm… Katie”
You: “And that makes you special because...” (Still smiling and playful)

The last thing you want to do is go up and say something completely situational like “Music’s loud, huh?”

Remember, her friends will be back soon, so have a story or routine available to talk to the whole group.


5. She’s in a group, what do I say?

If she’s in a small group of a couple girls, you can go direct if you’re smooth enough. If you’re getting blown out consistently going direct (just saying hi and being friendly), you should switch to indirect game for a bit. Once you get more field experience, it should be much easier to go direct and just say what's up.

For a group, especially a group of 3+ that may have guys in it, opinion openers usually work best. An example of one would be:

“Hey guys, I need a quick female opinion on something. I’ve got a pug and a beagle, and I’m trying to think of names for them, but I want to name them after an 80’s pop duo. What do you think? I was thinking Sonny and Cher, but that’s 70’s. Or Axl and Slash, but that's too metal…”

That’s just one of many you can use. Openers about relationships can work the best. A good way to find opinion openers is to read a magazine like Cosmopolitan and see what issues are talked about there.


6. They gave their opinion, now what?

This can go one of two ways:

1) They keep talking and the conversation can bounce to another topic.

2) They give you the opinion and that’s it.

If it’s Number 2, you need to plow forward with a story. You should have 3 openers on hand and 3 stories on hand at all times. Best are funny or interesting stories from your own life. You can make them up. There are also some pre-written field tested stories that are in Mystery’s E-book. You need a routine stack of things to say in case the conversation goes dry.


7. I don’t want to use pre-scripted routines! I just want to go with the flow!

Ok, go with the flow then. How’s that working for you?

Here’s the deal, if you’re running out of things to say regularly in set, you need something to fill the gaps.

Think of the routines as training wheels. You use them until you can run a set without them. You can use someone else’s stories for a bit, then develop your own true stories, and eventually just go with the flow. However, not having anything to say, then refusing to use a routine, is illogical. You can’t demand spontaneity. It just comes with experience.


8. There are guys in the set! How do I approach if there are guys in there too?

Welcome to you first mixed set! Ironically, these are often easier. You get bonus points in the women’s eyes for having the balls to go up when there are guys there. Even if you were guaranteed to never take home a girl from a mixed set, I’d still advise you do as many mixed sets as possible. Why? Because they build tolerance to social pressure and make 2-sets of all girls look easy in comparison.

When guys are in the set, they may have just met the girls there that night, or they may be friends. One may be a boyfriend. How do you tell? This is something you get a feel for from field experience. If a girl’s standing with a guy, generally if she doesn’t look like she’s having much fun with him, he’s probably her boyfriend. Approach the group, and do your opener.

If you do everything right, if the guys met the girls there that night, 90% of the time they will freeze and let you game the girls til either you get blown out or steal the girls from them. Sometimes you will get AMOGed or tooled around. Alpha battling is a skillset in itself. Click here for learning how to deal with cockblocks.

9. How do I make the girls attracted?

What you basically want to do is display how cool you are.

This basically comes down to a cocky/funny attitude. You don’t want to be bragging and sounding insecure, and you don’t want to be telling jokes ala comedian style, but you do want to show that you’re really confidant and can tease.

The master of this is none other than David DeAngelo. He gives example after example of how to bust on girls and tease them and make them so aggravated yet still dead set on being with you. Busting on girls is an art form, and there is a science to the teasing. It’s about being the guy they call a “jerk” but still have around. He has some great DVDs, but the ebook is where to start, and it’s the most inexpensive quality seduction product out there.

10. Ok, we’re talking, the girls are laughing, now what?

What you now want is ISOLATION. It’s great to be an entertainer and give some laughs, but the main goal is you and the girl having a special connection away from everyone else. Moving a girl does 2 things:

1) It lets you be alone with her, and frees her to talk to you about more personal things without worrying about what her friends think

2) It creates massive rapport as you are in different places with her. The more places you can move with a girl, the more she feels like she knows you. Even moving her five feet away can boost your connection. Moving her to another part of the bar is even better. Moving her to a place to eat that same night will do wonders.

Now how do you move her?

What I usually do is say “Hey, I’ve got something cool to show you. Come over here with me and I’ll bring you right back.” The “right back” thing is critical. Once she agrees, you can tell the group the two of you will be over there and they can come by when they want, but you’ll bring her right back. Sometimes the friends will argue, but if you’ve built good attraction with the girl, she will say “It’s cool, it’s cool.”

What cool thing can you show her? There are lots of things. “The Cube,” palm reading, a cold read, or anything else. Actually you don't need to have a gimmick to isolate her. You can just move her and start talking and start some more rapport developing talk. This is also where you can kino her a bit more.

11. So how do I know if she likes me?

You will get Indicators of Interest (IOI’s) that let you know she’s attracted. These include:

· Asking your name

· Asking any questions about yourself

· Touching you

· Keeping the conversation going if you pause

· Asking you if you have a girlfriend

· Staying to talk to you when her friends leave to dance or go to the bathroom.

Once you have a few of these, you can isolate one of the girls. After three IOI’s you can actually go for the kiss. For quick make-outs, read this article


12. She’s touching me, should I touch her back?

It depends at what point she’s touching you.

If I’m doing an indirect approach and a girl’s touching me right away, I won’t give in. Usually she’s testing for validation to see how fast I jump to touch her back.

I’ll say “Hands off the merchandise!” and move her hands off. Then “That’s 20 dollars a touch!” At that point she’ll start touching me again and again, and I’ll count the amount she owes me. Eventually I’ll just let out a big sigh and “give up” and let her touch me. It’s all playful.

Now if I’ve been talking to her and have sufficiently attracted her, I can escalate kino and touch her more. If you are talking, you can get away with far more kino than if you are silent.

If she balks at any touching, quickly push her off and take a step back in your progression, but don't make a big thing of it. David DeAngelo says you go two steps forward, one step back; then two steps forward, one step back.

13. She said she has a boyfriend, what do I do?

It all depends on what context she mentions it. There are plenty of reasons a girl might mention she has a boyfriend if she doesn’t. She may be alarmed that you’re hitting on her and trying to give you a hint, or she may want to not look like a loser so she’ll say she has a boyfriend even if she doesn’t have one. She also could be referring to a guy orbiting her that takes her out to dinner and buys her gifts, yet doesn't get any play from her.

In general, if a girl mentions a boyfriend, but not in direct objection to something you suggested, then proceed as if she hasn’t said it. That means if she says she has a boyfriend when you ask for her number, that’s one thing, but if she mentions “Oh I went to the mall with my boyfriend the other day,” treat it as if she said she went to the mall with a male friend.

Will studying pick-up help you pick up girls who legitimately have boyfriends? Yes, and it’s up to you whether you want to or not.

Here at Pick-Up Mastery, we do not try to pick up girls who are in committed relationships because we try to surround ourselves with positive, loyal people at all times. If a woman is willing to lie to her significant other about something this important, she generally lacks integrity and is not worth having around

However, we recognize not everyone share this value and it’s up to you to make your own decision.

As for married women, many a PUA has lived to regret seducing someone with a ring on her finger. There is more drama, pain, and possible violence to result from an affair with a married woman than all other aspects of pick-up combined. Avoid them.

Next:  Questions on Mid-Game

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